The Day that you tell your kid there is no Santa

The Day that you tell your kid, there is no Santa
Note: The family I use for this blog is in no way, shape, or form like my real family. But don't tell them that.

When the kids were younger, my wife and I really enjoyed Christmas. Call it holiday madness, but between Black Friday and Christmas morning, all of us were together, singing a song, decorating the tree, watching Santa Claus move between TV specials, the local mall, and even on the street corner bumming quarters and dimes from people passing by. Well, outside of that last incident, Christmas was a time for us to really be a family.

As the kids grew older, slowly the red-suited person was less of the focus and getting the gifts was the central theme. My kids are two years apart, but every year came to the table with the same hopes and dreams of Christmas. With every passing year, I knew that time was coming to a close. The bright-eyed wonderment of the holidays is only good for a few years, then eventually, they find out …

What I want for Christmas

What I want for Christmas Note: The family that I talk about on the blog is not real. I hire them on an hourly basis

If you haven't checked the calendar recently, you'll quickly realize that you're in the holiday season. That time between Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years when the following statements are true: people take off for vacation, traffic is lighter and ... so is your wallet. People are rushing to the store with lists containing presents for friends and family. That's where we are beginning tonight's blog entry.

My wife walks into the kitchen. My kids are attached to their mobile devices like an oxygen tank to a senior at a casino. I am walking to the fridge to grab a soda.

My wife asks the kids, "What do you want for Christmas?"

My daughter responds, "I want a movie, 'Forever 5'. It was in the theatre a month ago."

My wife responds, "I am not sure if they have it out on DVD yet."

My daughter retorted, "DVD?…

Black Friday - The Legend Continues

Black Friday - The Legend Continues Note: I don't know who these people are. Wait a minute! They are just made up!

Part 1: 2:
Gametime! Once the car was parked, the game was on! Grandmom decided that she was the one going to the "bullseye" store and my wife was heading to the electronics store. Grandmom jumped out of the car and ran to the store represented by the bullseye. Mom climbed out of the car and ran to the electronics store. My daughter was in the back seat trying to get out of the van when my wife presses the key FOB and locks my daughter in the car. My daughter tries to open one of the back doors but does not succeed. She reaches into her jacket and pulls out a battery for her cell phone and plugs it in, trying to keep it from shutting down. With the doors unable to open, she laid down in the back of the v…

Black Friday - Let the games begin

Black Friday -  Let the games begin.
Note: this is not my real family. They are merely figments of my imagination. I am sure people like this do exist in the world, but they aren't related to me ... or are they. Seriously. They aren't. It's just a story.
Part 1 of the story:

The alarms from the cell phones chime in unison at eight o'clock. Probably because no one chose another alarm than the default provided by the phone manufacturer. The team assembled in the kitchen, getting ready to move to the van. Grandmom has one last message for everyone, "I must admit. This is the best team from our family in years to go out on Black Friday. I've got a feeling that we will be victorious in our pursuits. Let us pray."

Everyone bows their heads.

Grandmom says, "Oh Lord. Please, please help us in our time if need. We wish the strength to stand and not bend, not to have to leave the lin…

The Night Before Black Friday

The Night Before Black Friday Note: The kids I write about are not real. I mean I am sure they are kids like this exist, but these are not my actual kids. Even the parents and grandparents in this store are made up. However, Black Friday is a real event which is very, very, very serious to a lot of people.

As the day of Thanksgiving arrives in less than two weeks. It is a day of family, memories, great tasting turkey, crowded bedrooms and a few arguments. But, just as the cranberry decomposes on the dinner table, another Holliday, barely twenty-four hours away. You know what I'm talking about. Stores open at midnight, letting value-conscious shoppers, with the best deals of the year. Oh yeah, it's Back Friday!

In my family, my wife and daughter have mastered Black Friday. Tips, Techniques, and Strategic plans passed down from generation to generation of family members. Let me put this in perspective. Some people like to watch football games. They can watch the movement of the…

It's not the fact that you threw the Spaghetti, but the fact you threw it at me!

It's not the fact that you threw the Spaghetti,  but the fact you threw it at me!

Note: The people portrayed in this blog are just not real. I mean seriously! Who would put up with such nonsense!

This is the third part of the "Family Dinner Night" story:

Part 1: 2:

Tonight was the night of the first Family Dinner Night. My wife and I have been calling people all week trying to make this happen. Most of the relatives were already had plans or used that excuse to not go to dinner. In the end, we had the four of us, my parents, my wife's parents, and a set of Grandparents from my wife's side.

I drove the car in front of the restaurant and parked in the first available space. Myself, my wife, and the kids rolled out of the car and slammed the doors.

I yell out, "Be careful with the car!"

Putting the Family Back Together for Dinner Night

Putting the Family Back Together for Dinner Night
Note: The family members that I reference in this blog are not real. Seriously. They are figments of my imaginations affixed to paper for your literary enjoyment.

Part 1 of this series is located here:

My wife supplies me with a few phone numbers of various relatives to call. I took the list of names. Racks and stacked the record for the "most difficult" people first, then looked at the list again.

I look at the name on the list long and hard. If I were Superman, I probably would have laser beamed that name out of existence, but I didn't.

I puck up my cell phone, types in the digits, and pressed the send key to making the call.

Over the wireless phone network, the sound of a ringtone is all that I hear. Once, twice, three times, and then, "Who this?"

I say, "It's your son."

He asks, "Jimmy?"

I reply, "N…